Strategize

Plan the conversation ahead of time. Do not do this "on the fly."

• Why are you doing this? What specific actions/inactions and/or physical or behavioral symptoms have caused you to think your child has a drug problem? We have a comprehensive list HERE.

• Get a Urine Test. Have a comprehensive urine drug test available. You can get these online or at a pharmacy. Make sure the test covers fentanyl and not just opioids. Fentanyl, being synthetic, won't pop on a standard opioid screen.

• Look for physical evidence. If you can have in hand solid proof that your child is using, you'll be in a much better position to impose consequences or demand treatment. This is no time to "protect his privacy." Common places where you could find evidence include:

• Dresser drawers, beneath or between clothes

• Their car

• Desk drawers

• Small boxes – jewelry, pencil, etc.

• Backpacks, purses or other bags

• Under a bed or mattress

• In a plant, buried in the dirt

• Between or inside books

• In containers designed to conceal – fake lipstick tubes, fake soda cans, etc.

• Inside over–the–counter medicine containers (Tylenol, Advil, etc)

•  What items to look for: in the specific case of fentanyl/opioids, look for pills or powdered pills. It doesn't necessarily matter how the pills are labeled. Look for anything that could be used to snort the powder such as straws, tubes from pens or mechanical pencils, or rolled-up paper/money, glass tubes, or metal tubes. Look for syringes, test strips,  pipes, rolling papers, money stashes, electronic scales, small baggies, torn pieces of saran wrap, other drugs (such as pot), vape devices, sleeping pills (when withdrawing it's hard to sleep), and Narcan.

•  Look for technological evidence. Your child may not have left physical evidence, but they may not be so careful with their technology- especially if you don't normally have a habit of checking it. Check phones, computers, laptops, and tablets. Look through: text messages, Instagram messages, Facebook messages, WhatsApp messages, and any other messenger apps they may have installed on their devices. You can check SnapChat, but often those messages disappear. Pro-Tip! Don't screenshot anything or delete anything. Take a photo of their screen with YOUR phone. Otherwise, the participants in the messages may be notified that someone is snooping. Also, be aware that if you read any unopened messages, participants may think your child is active.

• How do I get into my child's devices? If you don't care that your child knows what you're going to do, then wait until she is actively using her phone and take it from her before she has a chance to lock it. keep it active so that it doesn't lock. Expect a fight, but this is your right and your job as a parent to protect your children. It's okay if they get angry. GO lock yourself in your room so you can focus. Take all other electronics as well and at the same time because they can log in from a different device and delete things quickly. You may want to do this search immediately prior to the conversation with your child OR immediately after if you don't need technological evidence to prove your case.. If the phone is locked, demand the lock code and tell the child they won't get the phone or any other electronics back until they tell it to you.

• Have a plan set in motion If you've found physical or technological evidence, you already have what you need to start planning some type of treatment if you feel your child is at the stage of needing treatment. A good first step might be an appointment with the pediatrician. Or, maybe you've decided your child needs in-patient or out-patient rehab. Decide where you're going to go and make arrangements with the treatment facility.